Burning Fields (Not Bridges)

Burn fields, not bridges.

There are relationships we need to burn down. They become toxic for us, and we need to reset without the other person in our lives. Move on, get bent, etc. I used the expression above recently ("burn fields, not bridges"), and a friend replied that sometimes bridges need to be burned. I think I disagree.

When you burn a field, you strip everything down. Anything that was hiding in the tall grass either runs away, is destroyed or is exposed. The roots remain beneath the surface, but for the moment, everything is purged - the good, the bad, that which was already dead, all the creatures who have been hiding and their hiding places, etc. There is once again a wide open field, primed for new growth, new opportunities and new life, no longer choked out by the tangled grasses and weeds of yesterday.

There are relationships worthy of new beginnings, needing purged and revitalized. As my aforementioned friend suggested, however, there are those that are not. For the latter, isn't it still better to just burn the field and not the bridge? Perhaps someday, things will change...perhaps you change...perhaps they change...perhaps the passage of time grants fresh, new perceptions and maturity. Maybe healing becomes possible.

Even if you never enter that field again, I believe there is comfort or emotional health in the knowledge that you could if need be - that you didn't burn the bridge. At the very least, someday you might be able to see it in your memories from afar, not as the tangled mess it became, but resembling the open field, full of promise, vibrancy & life, that you originally knew.